I barely slept last night. Clients I’m working with are also struggling with sleep; worrying if they’ll get to sleep, stay asleep, or if they’ll sleep. Sleep is important, basic, and can be so restorative and perspective changing—so I wanted to share some ways to find better sleep during these trying times. Many of these ideas were inspired from Marsha M. Linehan’s book, DBT Skills Training Manual.
1.Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule all week long.
With less structure, more time at home, and a new way of possibly viewing life and death, your sleep schedule may be reflecting these changes—you may be going to bed at different times. As best you can, try to create a schedule you can stick to. Creating more structure, and making a habit out of getting ready for bed at the same time each night can be soothing for a wacked-out nervous system and frazzled mind.
2. Avoid Using the Bed for Daytime Stuff.
Because you may want to do some deep daytime sleep, which could further mess up your night time sleep schedule and sleep quality.
3. Less Doing and Consuming Before Bed
Are you watching things that are revving you up? Drinking coffee later in the day? Drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco in the evening? Try to curb that a bit, or do it earlier. Also, avoid strenuous exercise 3-4 hours before bedtime.
4. Take Time to Prep Your Bedroom
Does it need a bit of dusting, tidying, re-arranging to make it a more inviting place? Would adding a candle at night be soothing? Sniffing some essential oils? (lavender or cedar are good ones). Consider trying out using a sound machine, eye pillow, earplugs, or a sleep app. And have the room fairly cool in temperature, if possible. Use a fan to increase air circulation.
5. 30-60 Minute Rule
Allow for 30-60 minutes to fall asleep. If you can’t fall asleep, start to notice—what is your mood? Are you thinking a lot about stuff? Are you calm, edgy, excited?
6. Worrying About Not Sleeping=You Won’t Sleep
It is verryyy common to worry and stress about the fact that you can’t sleep—and can become a vicious cycle of insomnia. Try talking yourself down by knowing that you’ll be ok, even if you are just resting and lying in bed. Don’t decide to get up and start your day. Keep resting, see what happens…
7. If It’s Been Over 60 Minutes…
If you’ve done your due diligence and lingered in bed for up to an hour and still no dreamtime, go to another room or area of your bedroom and do a mellow activity (read a book, space out looking at the darkness, hug a pillow, eat a light snack, etc..)
Focus on Body Sensations
Splash cold water on your face, put a cool washcloth over your eyes—especially helpful if you feel keyed-up, overly tired/jittery. Lie down and focus on breathing—see if you can take a longer exhale and shorter inhale. If you are thinking in circles, notice where in your body feels active, tight, or full of thought.
Try the 9-0 Mindfulness Practice
This may help break up over thinking or worrying: As you exhale slowly, say or see in your mind the number 9. On the next exhale say 8, then 7, etc…until you reach 0. Then start over, but say 8 (instead of 9) when you take your first exhale. Continue down the numbers. Then start with 7 and so on …until you reach 0. Start over as many times as you need until you fall asleep.
Reassure Yourself
What seem to be big worries in the middle of the night, or as you are falling asleep, may not seem as big or overwhelming in the morning. Remind yourself of that.
If you can’t stop worrying, or thinking in loops, try these options: Ask yourself, can your worry be solved? If so, then use your mind to solve the problem. If it is a bigger, more existential, unsolvable: go deep into the worry, imagine the worst outcome—and then imagine yourself dealing effectively with the big problem, coping with the issue, and overcoming the worst fear.
If you are experiencing any sleep issues, anxiety treatment can help you. Reach out to me through my contact form to start your healing journey.